Political column – January 31

What Parliament has asked her to do brings to mind that classic parody from Beyond The Fringe when a senior RAF officer played by Peter Cook orders Jonathan Miller to go on what amounts to a suicide mission.

"The war's not going very well, you know," says Cook.

"We need a futile gesture at this stage."

Unlike Miller's "Perkins," Mrs May will be coming back. But the signs are that she is on an impossible mission from which she will return with a EU flea in her ear, perhaps with some disrespect and humiliation thrown in for good measure.

But you never know.

Sometimes you have to just grit your teeth and try talking to people even if you don't much like them and recognise the chance of a meeting of minds is virtually nil.

So it would be interesting as well to be a fly on the wall as Jeremy Corbyn goes to Downing Street – if that is the venue – and holds the "talks" with Mrs May he has now agreed to be involved in following the vote of the House of Commons to reject a no-deal Brexit.

Rejecting a no-deal was, as you will recall, his condition for entering the talks. He seems to have let it pass that Mrs May hasn't actually rejected a no-deal, and unless there is a change in law that will be the default outcome if there is not a deal.

On the evidence of the exchanges at Prime Minister's Questions yesterday, the Corbyn-May summit is going to be a total waste of time in which there will be a perfunctory exchange of views followed by a rush to be the first to get out their press release blaming the other party for being unreasonable.

"We should bring people together, whether they voted Leave or Remain," said Mr Corbyn in the Commons.

"I look forward to meeting the Prime Minister to discuss a solution that could, in my view, unite the country."

So far, so good.

He said she should dump her "red lines."

"Changes to the backstop alone will not be sufficient. Businesses and trade unions are very clear that any solution must involve a customs union and strongest possible deal with the single market to avoid the damage of a no deal."

And with that statement of Labour Party policy the prospect of any unanimity bites the dust.

For Labour, there is an elephant in the room with its policy, which Theresa May touched on during the debate on Tuesday, and again yesterday, and called for Mr Corbyn to clarify his position.

"I want to know whether he wants to accept all EU state aid rules. In the past he has objected to the state aid rules. He can't have it both ways."

Lukewarm

The point is this – a customs union and single market deal implies accepting EU competition and state aid rules, and complying with those would throw a shadow of doubt over key elements of a Labour manifesto going into a general election.

In case you're wondering, that is what lies behind the lukewarm enthusiasm of traditional Left wingers like Mr Corbyn and John McDonnell to the EU which has put them so often at odds with others within their own party.

Mrs May was also asked by backbenchers about the so-called "alternative arrangements" to get round the Northern Ireland backstop issue. What was the nature of these "alternative arrangements," they wondered reasonably.

She waffled about various backbenchers coming up with this and that, and mentioned potential technical solutions, without being specific, let alone explaining how they could be invented, or put in place, or both, in less than two months.

There is, of course, a practical method to solve the Irish border problem and keep trade flowing freely that no responsible politician will advocate, although in the event of a no deal I imagine there is a high probability that it will be what actually happens on the ground.

It's called looking the other way.