May day causes some trouble at t'mill

Yes, an exasperated Theresa May really did say that at the launch of the Conservatives' manifesto down at t'mill up north.

The venue was a message in itself. She said she was representing all the country (emphasis on "all") and standing up for ordinary working people.

Or, put another way - I'm up here to steal Labour votes.

After considering her pitch, a curious media wanted her help in finding an appropriate pigeonhole for her.

The chap from the Sun said she had a new moniker as a Red Tory. In an almost complete contradiction, another wondered whether she saw herself as a Thatcherite.

And a third twitted her with: "Is May-ism a rejection of Thatcherism?" eliciting her denial that such a thing (May-ism) exists.

Much of the media build-up had been about May's mugging of pensioners. This turns out to have been a misinterpretation of her policy, which is "to create the first ever proper plan to ensure sustainability of social care."

In truth, Mrs May's speech, made at a converted mill in Halifax, had very little about the details of policy, which were to be found in the manifesto document those listening were hurriedly thumbing through. Instead, it was all about vision and direction.

At times, there were shades of Kennedy, at others even shades of Jeremy Corbyn as she said she would create a Britain which "asks not where you come from, but where you are going to... a country which works not for the privileged few, but for everyone."

Not For The Privileged Few But For Everyone. Mmm... that would make a great election slogan.

Mrs May says she wants to build a great meritocracy. But at the core of the launch was a desire to get back to Brexit, which she described as a defining moment in the nation's history. It was not going to be easy, but there were opportunities to be embraced to build a global Britain which stood tall.

It all depends, she says, on her having the strongest possible hand as she enters the negotiations.

"If we fail (when politicians talk about failure they deftly switch from the first person singular to the plural) the consequences for Britain and the economic security of ordinary working people will be dire."

To stop that terrible prospect, we must all unite.

"In this election, more than any before, it is time to put the old tribal politics behind us and come together in the national interest, united in our desire to make a success of Brexit, united in our desire to get the right result for Britain."

So, that's the plan. A united Britain. An end to tribal politics.

And we all know what politicians really mean when they say that.

Vote for me.