Shropshire Star

Mark Andrews: It's a bug's life being green

Back in the 1980s, I recall reading an extract from the then-famous autobiography of Cuban political prisoner Armando Valladares, who described in horrific detail the gruesome tortures he received at the hands of dictator Fidel Castro. The whippings with electrical cables, the showers in urine and faeces, the soldiers jumping on his broken leg. Being held in 'drawer cells', where there was not enough space to lie down. And in the unlikely event that you looked like you might be about to fall asleep, one of your guards would jab you with a long pole to ensure you remained awake.

Published
Vicky Farmer prepares to taste a black scorpion as part of her bugs lunch, at the Rentokill 'pop-up pestaurant' in the City of London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Thursday August 15, 2013. The pest control firm served an array of edible insects including salt & vinegar Crickets, bbq mealworms and sun dried caterpillars, to celebrate 85 years of pest control by eating most of their targets. See PA story CONSUMER Pestaurant. Photo credit should read: John Stillwell/PA Wire .

And when it came to mealtimes, the worm-infested food on offer was euphemistically described as having 'added protein'.

I think most of you will agree that the majority of these measures were a pretty rum business. I'm all for a bit of law and order, but even by my standards it is excessive to shower somebody in your doings just because they refused to put an "I'm with Fidel" sign on their desk at work, which was said to have been Armando's crime.

But, it seems that the last of these punishments, the wriggly nosh, was not a punishment at all. Apparently, eating insects and worms is all the rage in the trendier parts of London. Far from being inhumane, Fidel's fittle was actually a trendy wellness fad that was just a few years ahead of its time. Avocados are so last year, dahling.

Of course, the idea of eating grub made of grubs was popularised in this country by the tasks on I'm A Celebrity. Then there is that restaurant in Birmingham which briefly became famous for having moss on the walls and ants on the menu, but I guess that's Birmingham for you. Strange things go on in these big cities.

But now we have environmentalists starting to bang the drum for insect-based foods, and there are some who hope this could become the new normal. Great British Bake Off judge Prue Leith is one advocate, saying: "Insects are high in protein, easy to farm and have a low carbon footprint as they don't need much water." What's not to like? Apart from the appearance, taste and texture, obviously.

According to marketing experts Meticulous Research, the edible insect market could be worth £5.75 billion by 2030, with a predicted annual growth rate of 24 per cent. Forget Bitcoin and forex scams, if you want to make a fast buck now's the time to open that cockroach farm.

And that is more or less what Tiziana Di Costanzo and her husband Tom Mohan did after their teenage son started breeding mealworms as a project for his Duke of Edinburgh award. Deciding that it would be more interesting than working in IT – and let's be honest, most things are – the couple started breeding insects from their back garden in Ealing. Tiziana and Tom love nothing more than to start the day with crickets in their porridge, although I do wonder if little Johnny rues the day he started that Duke of Edinburgh scheme.

The couple, who must make Tom and Barbara Good look like rapacious capitalists, now run insect cookery courses, teaching people who to make cricket bruschetta and mealworm burgers, although one of the journalists who attended felt squeamish at the sight of 'whole crickets floating in balsamic vinegar'.

According to her report, the insects taste like a mixture of tuna, smoky bacon and pork scratchings, which does have a certain appeal. But even as someone recently forced to give up a mild pork-scratching habit due to health problems, I still don't think I'm quite ready to make the switch.

What I might be prepared to do, though, by way of compromise, is offer my services to the marketing department. I think my rapier wit and obvious passion for the subject could be just the shot in the arm the industry needs to take it to the next level. Indeed, I have already thought up a snappy slogan, which a few years from now you might be seeing on billboards right across the country.

"Save the planet. Eat like a Cuban political prisoner." You read it here first.