Watch: Befriending scheme a lifeline for lonely older people in Shropshire

There are 10,000 people in Shropshire who go a month or more without a visit or phone call from family or friends, new figures reveal.

"When you want to cry there is no one to see. We all need somebody to talk to," said Muriel, who has lived alone since her husband Henry was killed in an accident 48 years ago.

She has no relatives living nearby and the couple never had children.

"It's been a lonely life but I've met some good friends along the way," she added.

Hundreds of lonely older people across the county are currently on Age UK waiting lists to get someone to visit them or even chat to them on the phone.

As the population ages and social care changes, many more elderly people are left facing weeks and months on their own.

It could be that their only company was with their doctor or carer, and weekends can be a particularly isolated time.

Bosses at the county's branch of Age UK said today that the the numbers of older residents seeking company or support were "going through the roof".

Telephone buddies, social activities, and befriending schemes can be a lifeline, but more volunteers and donations are desperately needed.

Muriel, who lives near Oswestry, says the support she receives from Age UK Shropshire, Telford and Wrekin has been a lifeline.

• Age UK’s Shropshire Telford & Wrekin advice hotline is (01743) 233123

• You can also find it on Twitter @AgeUK_STW and on Facebook at Age UK Shropshire Telford & Wrekin

• Its website is http://www.ageuk.org.uk/shropshireandtelford

• The Shrewsbury Office of Age Concern is at 3 Mardol Gardens, Shrewsbury SY1 1PR

• It is open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm. Its telephone number is (01743) 233123

• You can email the Shrewsbury office at enquiries@ageukstw.org.uk

• Age UK’s Telford Office is at Meeting Point House, Southwater Square, Telford Town Centre TF3 4HS

• It is open Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 1.30pm

• Its telephone number is (01952) 201803 and information line is (01952) 216018

• The office’s email: telford.enquiries@ageukstw.org.uk

• The North Shropshire Office of Age Concern is at Unit 2, 12 St Mary’s Street, Whitchurch SY13 1QY

• It is open Tuesday to Friday, 9am to 1pm. Its telephone number is (01948) 665317

• Its email is whitchurch.enquiries@ageukstw.org.uk

• The Silverline Hotline offers a confidential helpline providing information, friendship and advice to older people, open 24 hours a day, every day of the year

• You can call for free on 0800 4708090

• The charity’s website is: www.thesilverline.org.uk

"If it wasn't for Age UK I wouldn't see anyone and I'd be in a home. When you are alone small hills become mountains because you've got no one to speak to about it.

"I'm originally from South Wales, but I married a Shropshire man, and we never had children," she said.

"My sisters have all died now, but I have family in Wales and Australia who I sometimes see. One of my nieces visits around once a month.

" I do feel lonely sometimes, but I get on with it. I read a lot, and I watch the television."

"I first read about Age UK when I saw a piece in a church magazine," she said. "I had just come out of hospital, I had cancer, and I was offered services of help in the home, I have had them coming for about 12 years."

There are currently 100 older people on waiting lists for help from Age UK within Telford & Wrekin.

And all they require is a volunteer to pop in for a couple of hours every week for a cup of tea or to give them a call.

Another 200 people are waiting for a place at a day centre in Shropshire, with 97 of these being from Telford.

Every Friday, Muriel gets a visit from Age UK home support worker Susan Boyle, who does her shopping, and stops for a chat with her, and helps her with domestic chores around her home.

She also gets a weekly visit from volunteer Charles.

"He's a very well travelled man, he's been to America and the Gambia, it's good to have someone to talk to. We are great friends now, I really look forward to his visits.

"The people I talk to have the same interests and Charles and I discuss politics and poetry, and sometimes he brings me a good book to read. He's a very dear friend of mine."

She says Age UK's "phone buddies" scheme, where a volunteer calls at a designated time every week, is particularly important.

"I always look forward to getting my call on a Monday," says Muriel. "If I did not get that, I might not talk to anybody after Sue's visit on a Friday.

"If you are reading this and you have the time to volunteers, even just an hour a week, then please do it as you could change someone's life.

"I don't want to go in a home and Age UK allows me to stay in my flat. I had a fall before Christmas but I pressed my emergency button and the paramedics came round.

"The volunteers at the charity help you with everything – they help you fill in your benefits form and there is a handyman."

Muriel's husband Henry, who worked as a lorry driver, was aged just 46 when he was killed when a bridge collapsed 48-years-ago.

Following his death, Muriel had a number of jobs to pay the bills including at a tailors, an engineering firm and a wages clerk.

"I had bowel cancer and came out of hospital and realised I wouldn't be able to look after myself or do my shopping, I was 80.

"With the Government cutting more and more money, the most vulnerable people are suffering. I'm not ashamed to talk about it, it's true. I can cook my food and do my washing but I just need the help with my shopping and things like that.

Britain has become "too busy" to find time for older people, according to TV presenter and campaigner Esther Rantzen.

She said around 300,000 calls are received by The Silver Line helpline every year. More than 2,000 calls were made to the charity over the Christmas period.

The former presenter of That's Life, who was recently made a Dame for her charity work, created the service after seeing a need.

She had already pioneered Childline, offering free counselling for young people suffering from issues ranging from bullying to drug and sexual abuse. But nothing similar was available nationally for the elderly, for whom the final years can often be a place of loneliness and financial strife.

Dame Esther said that even she was flabbergasted by the response to Silver Line.

She said it was having a "transformational" effect on thousands and had highlighted a "huge and unmet need".

Most callers lived alone and more than half, 53 per cent, said they had no-one else to speak to other than the helpline, a survey found.

Nearly half of callers often spent more than a day without talking to anyone, and more than one in 10 often spent more than a week without having a conversation.

Of the 100 callers questioned, 20 per cent said they were not in touch with their family or had no family. More than two thirds said they were reluctant to ask their families for help because they did not want to be a "burden."

Dame Esther, 73, launched The Silver Line after previously disclosing her own loneliness when her husband, the documentary maker Desmond Wilcox, died.

She said: "Not a day goes by when I don't think of Desi. When times are tough I get my head down and just plough on, but it's the happy days I find the hardest.

"Mother's Day was particularly tough last year. I spent it with my two daughters, son-in-law and grandson and it was absolutely wonderful. But Desi wasn't there and he should have been.

"It was a lovely spring afternoon, the sun was shining and he would have been so proud of his children and grandson.

"He had such a capacity for kindness and loved spending time with his family."

Dame Esther, who married documentary maker Desmond in 1977, has three adoring children and a wealth of celebrity friends, but admits to struggling to come to terms with solitude – something she says is shared by millions in a similar situation to her.

She added: "The passage of time doesn't make it any easier. Yes, I am very busy but I still get terribly lonely.

"Loneliness is about loss. And you can only understand if you have lost a crucial aspect of your life you relied upon, like I did.

"Loneliness can strike everyone, rich or poor, unknown or famous, but there is a real stigma that stops older people asking for help. They don't want to be a burden.

"It's very hard to come back to a dark flat and find there is no-one to give you a kiss or say, 'How was your day?' or 'Would you like a cup of tea?'

"The shocking fact is that Britain has become too busy to find time for our older people.

"Even our doctors, our carers, our high streets and our families fail to recognise that what older people need is time to talk, time to listen, time to value them.

"Silver Line callers say that being encouraged to ring The Silver Line made all the difference.

"Loneliness is alleviated with relationships, with company, so what it has to do is link people to people."

"If I need an electrician I can get it through the charity, so I know I can trust them and they are vetted."

She added: "I've been lucky. I've got some great friends. You play with the cards you are dealt in life."

Age UK provides buddies, be-frienders, home care, support and services, telephone support, day centres and a benefit service.

Benefits like attendance allowance can help someone stay at home, but there is also currently an eight week waiting list for the service.

Heather Osborne, Chief Executive of the county's Age UK branch, said: "Poor mobility, loss of a loved one or a lack of family nearby result in many becoming isolated and lonely.

"Loneliness is miserable, and it can impact on health and wellbeing too.

"Through the Gift of Friendship appeal we are urging people to help – by fundraising or volunteering, if you can help we'd like to hear from you.

"We need to raise money to recruit, train and support more volunteers – we have a critical need for more volunteer befrienders, with around 100 older people on waiting lists.

"It makes a huge difference and we have found it is also very rewarding both for the volunteer and the person they are helping."

The independent charity has set up the Gift of Friendship appeal in response to the significant issue of loneliness and has urged residents to help out.

A volunteer befriender is carefully matched with an older person to provide a social visit for up to two hours per week.

The visit may include chatting, running small errands or sharing an interest.

The scheme is already helping tens of thousands of older people across the UK and has made a significant impact in tackling loneliness in the region covered by Age UK Shropshire Telford & Wrekin.

The charity says volunteers need to be a good listener and need to be able to commit to one to two hours a week.

Ms Osborne said: "The service can literally be a lifeline for a lonely older person . It can really make a significant difference."

Hilary Knight, deputy chief executive of Age UK Shropshire, Telford & Wrekin, said: " The number of people coming through to us is going through the roof. The figures are totally shocking.

"People start to lose their self confidence. It can be very difficult if you are on your own.

"Council-run day centres have largely gone now as government cuts bite and you have to be in quite severe need to get help from social services.

"Loneliness is bad for people's health and according to recent research it is worse than smoking.

"It can often lead to mental and physical problems including depression from not socialising with others. The waiting list is a combination of heavy need and a lack of services available."

There are currently 17 day centres in Telford, which act as social hubs for people to meet each other and get a hot meal.

Funding for the charity comes from the local authorities, CCG, donations and fundraising appeals like the Gift of Friendship.

There are currently 750 volunteers in Shropshire – and more are needed so that more people like Muriel are provided a friendly face that cares.