Council worker Tom, from Market Drayton, isn’t keen to reveal his surname. It’s hardly surprising, because simply by engaging in conversation he’s way outside his comfort zone.

It’s hardly surprising, because simply by engaging in conversation he’s way outside his comfort zone.

Tom, you see, is what is known in internet circles as a “lurker”, someone who spends time reading discussions on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites, without actually taking part.

According to research, he’s part of a huge silent majority – nine out of 10 hours of online time in the UK are apparently spent by folk poking their noses into other people’s affairs.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?” says Tom, 43, who claims his two teenage children are exactly the same. (If you recognise the names Abi and Rachel, then his cover may be blown!)

“The internet was set up as an information sharing resource, after all. I’m just keeping myself informed about what the topics of conversation are, and seeing what’s getting people hot under the collar.

“But I don’t want to air my own dirty washing in public, or vainly put my views out there in the belief that other folk are interested.

“You wouldn’t do that in a face to face conversation unless you really knew the person well – and you don’t need a social networking site to speak to your best mates!”

Yet a growing people are gripped by this 21st century obsession of telling the world what’s on their minds, however irrelevant, inane or unnecessary.

So what sort of internet user are you?

Researchers have bracketed us into different categories:

The Baby Bore:

Mums who believe their child is the most interesting thing in the world, and believe they need to issue Facebook updates, Tweets or pictures charting every cough, smile or burp

The Face-Feuder:

People who want to air their dirty washing in public and seek cyber revenge. “I can’t believe Laura has accused me of sleeping around . . . she’s not so innocent,” a typical post would say. Sinitta, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton have all shared their grudges.

The Attention Tweeter:

Cry-for-help messages designed to provoke sympathy, like “I just want today to be over”, or “I’m feeling so sad today”. Designed to shame people into rushing to their virtual aid.

The ODA-er (Online Displays Of Affection):

Loved up folk who are desperate for the world to know. “Thanks for last night, babe” would be a typically gushing post. Get a private cyber-room!

The Teaser:

Someone who wants to keep you guessing by posting cryptic statements like “I can’t believe what just happened…” Experts say these people are insecure, and have a need to be needed.

The Lurker:

The most common beast in the online jungle. People who loiter around Facebook or Twitter reading other people’s updates, but probably don’t even have their own page or user ID. Stealth-users.

The Suck-Up:

Someone who “likes” everyone’s Facebook status, retweets everything you send on Twitter, and is quick to post flattering comments on other people’s pictures.

The Face Bragger:

Show-offs who believe everyone needs to hear their “amazing” news or hear about how fabulous their life is. They’ll spill forth about promotions, their latest posh car, or exotic holiday.