Letter: Vorsprung durch lunatic
Monday 24th May 2010, 7:30AM BST.
Letter: Just what do the German car manufacturers have against us?
They have provided vehicles that only idiots can drive, and with far too much power for these numbskulls to control. I am talking, of course, of the BMW and Audi drivers.
The next time you are driving along in a 30mph zone and you are approached from the rear at great speed by one of the above-mentioned loonies, just note the make of vehicle. You will not be able to mistake it as the logos on the front will only be about four feet from your rear bumper.
Similarly, when driving on the open road and you come to a line of traffic stretching ahead of you, just wait for the aforementioned dollop to arrive, at speed, and again attach himself to your bumper.
But this time, he is going to get past! It matters not that the road is full of bends, that the traffic ahead is nose to tail for at least half a mile. No, he is super-driver and at every opportunity will stick his nose out, swing back in, brake hard and generally acts like the idiot he is.
After about three or four miles, he will have advanced five cars, be at least eight seconds ahead, and have put countless lives at risk. And, did I mention it? You’ve guessed. His car is a BMW or an Audi.
Come on, you Germanic manufacturers: make for them a plastic dodgem car which will suit their driving abilities down to the ground.
Johnnie Atherton
Shrewsbury
Most Commented
- Clampdown on Shrewsbury chuggers
- Bishop's gay marriage views do nothing to support bible teachings
- Letter: Alcohol price plans annoy me
- Planners ordered to stay on Newport visit bus
- Letter: Angered by close encounter of the furred kind
- Letter: No sense in overseas job adverts
- The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff doesn't raise a smile
Shropshire Star on Twitter
Keep updated with the latest breaking news and content on our Twitter feed.
Lifestyle
Interactive Dining Out map
Hundreds of reviews by the Shropshire Star and Express & Star's teams to help you decide where to eat.
Entertainment
All the film reviews
Before you plan a trip to the pictures, get our critics' verdicts on all the latest movie releases.
OUR NEW APP
Get the new Shropshire Star app
Download the Shropshire Star’s new app to your iPad or iPhone to get one week of access to our digital newspapers absolutely FREE.
shropshirestar.com
Popular sections
Useful links
You could always pull over and let him pass? Man got no where by being patient. He was probably driving the S4 which has superb torque, and acceleration is blinding. We need to make way for these cars to pass or devise seperate lanes for performance car drivers.
Peter – secretary – Audi owners club
Report abuse
“Man got no where by being patient”
“superb torque, and acceleration is blinding”
“or devise seperate (sic) lanes for performance car drivers”
Ha ha genius. I guess you were joking right?
If not then of course I welcome your proposals, afterall there is a national shortage or Organ Doners.
Report abuse
Jesus,
Thankyou for your comments. I never Joke. My way of thinking is the way forward, I will soon take delivery of the new RS4 Estate with 510bhp, im sure there will be many more complaints from drivers with a gleaming RS4 badge in their rear view mirror – it means out of the way!
Report abuse
It is a shame that you confirm Johnnie Atherton’s assumptions are correct, the majority of drivers that use German cars are responsible road users, but it seems that the owners club attracts the wrong type of driver for this to be taken seriously.
Report abuse
Colin,
Sadly those that feel the need for that 510BHP and a desire to push others out of their way on the roads are usually lacking in some vital aspect of their manhood – the high BHP is a substitiute for them.
No doubt Freud would have had something to say on the subject.
Report abuse
Peter, why don’t you just tell us what is on you mind?
Report abuse
This sort of generalisation is not at all helpful no matter what topic it is directed at.
Such drivers can be found in any make or model of car, as trips have shown in the last few weeks, Subarus, Rovers, Range Rovers, Jaguars, Vauxhalls, Nisans, Toyotas and so on are also driven by some drivers who will press on no matter what the consequences.
The fact that the German cars are a status symbol for such micro brains has not entered your thoughts.
Just like when getting behind the wheel.
Switch your brain on before engaging a gear (or typing).
Report abuse
What you need to ask is, why are they are trying to overtake? The truth is that most of the time slow drivers cause tailbacks which in turn leads to ‘lunatics’ trying to SAFELY overtake. However a safe overtaking manoeuvre is often interpreted as dangerous by a slow, old, and often incompetent driver that is probably the same one causing the hold ups!… Don’t even get me started on middle lane hoggers!
Please introduce a driving test every 5 years and also thorough health and fitness tests as part of licence renewal! I would be happy to do this as a confident driver and motorcyclist!
Report abuse
I tend to think Mr Audi or Mr BMW would have been caught on out many speed camera’s and banned from driving if Johnnie was right.
Maybe he needs to speed up a bit
Report abuse
There’s a certain degree of truth in this letter. I drive two cars, one’s a powerful 3 litre saloon, the other is a humble 1.25 small hatchback. I witness far more aggressive driving behaviour from drivers of certain types of vehicle when in the small car than in the big car, even though I’m driving them in exactly the same manner.
The bit of the letter about driving nose to tail though… why do people insist on doing this if they have no intention of overtaking? You might be perfectly happy to potter along at 40mph on a main road, but not everybody is. For safety’s sake, please leave a reasonable gap.
Report abuse
Jake,
I fully agree, if your not going to overtake, leave a good gap! and please dont accelerate when I do!!( the puff of smoke from the exhaust is a dead give away ) and then proceed to flash your lights at me as if it was my fault! I willl need at least a 5 metere gap for my RS4 estate, (which when decelerating from overtaking speed), i have calculated that to re enter normal speed traffic, I will need a 5.6 metere gap. Should the over takee try to accelerate when i am making my manouvre, they will feel the full wrath of my V10. I also have environmental concern that when these people try to keep up with my 510 bhp V10 RS4 they will be adding to the already over polluted ozone layer. They should then be forced to scrap their cars and leave more room for serious drivers like myself. So therefore I am helping the environment by driving a 510bhp V10 RS4 (£74.999)
Report abuse
Thanks Pete, after reading you mails I now realise that when I am in a queue of traffic I should slow down and leave a big space in front of me so that the moron behind can jump up the queue in safety. Personally I would rather run you into the front of an on-coming lorry if I could be sure that your impatience and arrogance would only kill you.
Would it really destroy your manhood to wait in a queue with the plebs ujtil the point where we can all get past the slow moving vehicle in front, which is probably an overloaded ill-serviced lorry
Report abuse
Peter, you get a puff of smoke from your RS4?
There’s a problem. You need to get it serviced.
Report abuse
I can just imagine the writer of this letter sitting sanctimoniously at the head of a queue of cars doing a nice steady 48 mph in a 60 zone wondering why everyone behind is getting so worked up. They probably tut as another exasperated driver safely over takes. I wonder what they say as a bike passes them.
The type of car has no bearing on bad driving so I wonder why the writer even brought that up. Maybe they’re jealous as they potter along in their 2CV?
There are good and bad drivers going too fast. There are only bad drivers who drive too slowly, usually through incompetence, failing senses and sheers incomprehension of what is going on around them. I suspect the writer falls in to this bracket and I agree with squire in so much as the testing regime needs to be improved.
One last thing, what is it about Telford drivers that causes them to think indicating on roundabouts are a waste of time?
Report abuse
Only there’s no such thing as a 60mph ‘zone’ – it’s a zone with a 60mph speed *limit*.
N.B. ‘limit’ =/= ‘mandatory’.
Report abuse
I suggest that its meaning was 100% clear so why bother?
Report abuse
After taking some time to digest Mr Atherton’s small minded and largely inaccurate observations I now wish to add my comments.
As an Audi driver I am personally offended by his sweeping generalisations.But I am not just an Audi driver,I am a car driver,not the best in the world,but also not the worst.
In monerary terms,next to my house my car is my most valuable possession and I treat it as such.Moreover I treat my fellow drivers with the same respect,regardless of what make of vehicle they drive.
I drive an Audi as my car of choice,it is not a status symbol,nor an extension of my manhood,neither does it,as Mr Atherton suggests make me a “loonie”.
If you are looking for loonies Mr Atherton have a look into your bathroom mirror.I think you will see one there !
Report abuse
Yes, Dave, Im with you on this one – It has nothing whatsoever to do with manhood. This is an over uesed saying, and one which I find offensive. My manhood and engine have one thing in common – and my engine is a V10 510bhp. Il leave that with you.
Also if you are interested in the south Shropshire Audi Owners club, please let me know!
Report abuse
Its not the cars that are at fault but the drivers, it doesnt matter what car you drive the laws of physics are the same if you hit something!!Better to be late on earth than early in heaven!!!
Report abuse
By coincidence most Audi & BMW’s are driven by company car drivers in DEISEL (sad performance chasers) who have to consider CO2 emmisions for their P11D benefits. I agree the torque of these modern DEISELS is pretty impressive but the cred is garbage. No escuse for stupidity though. Cool badge…..no brains!!
Report abuse
Most BMW’s & Audis are driven by comapany car drivers chasing cool performance image in a DEISEL!. I agree the torque of these modern DEISELS is pretty good but the CO2 factor for the P11D benefit is the main selling point. Cool percieved image does not mean brains or intellectual driving ability. I see it everyday along the A5. Peter Schneider, how many of your members are driving these P11D favourable cars? The leasing terms are pretty favourable as well. I am afraid they may be tarnishing your cars image.
Report abuse
Steve,
That’ll be DIESEL… If you’re going to shout at people, please spell correctly.
Report abuse
Peter, I take your point on spelling. DIESELS are for trucks and buses and my 4×4 that I can run on used veg oil. Just heard yesterday that my brother-in-laws 2 year old S4 broke down on the M23. So much for German reliability!
Report abuse
I read is with amusement, annoyance, despair and dismay, then I realized that I had been had. In the world of Internet forums etc, this is a classic “troll” practice.
Johnnie should be commended on his attempt to “gee” people up, however I suspect that this is a fairly tired way of polarizing an argument on a non topic. I am surprised that the Star chose to print it.
However, if this is genuine, then it may be time to hang up the keys to the Morris, get off the road and spend your time reminiscing about simpler times.
Report abuse
Pete – loving your comments, keep em comming, ill look out for ya!
Report abuse
Clare,
Love dosnt come into this, apart from the love of my RS4 V10 (510 bhp) I find myself in a fortunate position, rather like Michael Knight, and his awesome car KITT ( knight industries two thousand ) although I wish I had i turbo boost!! I think we are all letting this matter get out of hand, the original matter in hand was about german car drivers being fast and impatient, and this may be true! Look at what Germany gave us.. AUTOBAHNS!! The A5 is a similar thing (restricted to 60mph of course) unless i unleash the full 510 bhp, then I may veer the scary side of 75mph – I could go to 155mph (limited) but this would be illegal. Any time you wish to take a ride in my RS4 Clare, your more than welcome. In Germany they have a saying – “Auch ein blindes Huhn findet mal ein Korn” (Even a blind hen sometimes finds a grain of corn)
Peter
Report abuse
” “.
Report abuse
I think that Peter Schneider is the god of the road! Have you seen his car? It is better than Knight Rider or any James Bond car!
In my opinion, everyone should own a German car, as they are massively efficient in performance. 510bhp? YES PLEASE!!
Hank.
Report abuse
Has this website become a free advert for German motoring?
Report abuse
Andrew, it pains me that your even questioning German motoring. Do you not agree that they are indeed the best car manufacturers out there?
If not, I would love you to name a better competitor.
Hank.
Report abuse
Blimey. It’s like an Audi takeover.
Report abuse
What a great way to stir the nation!! In Jonnie’s defence I was only talking the other day about the notable amount of very poor Audi drivers which seem to have appeared over the last few weeks. (Mainly the TDi brigade!) But there are also some shocking Ford, Peugeot, SEAT, VW, Volvo (etc etc) drivers as well. Can’t really justify singling out one lot!
Report abuse
Dear Boy-From^CLun,
If in fact your are from Clun, (which has some fantastic real ale pubs, and superb driving roads in and around the village) you will know that diesel engines are a must for those sweeping hills and steep valleys. I myself would not drive a diesel, as I drive a RS4 V10 (510 bhp with optional ceramic brakes @£3900) which can more than cope with any steep incline, Jonnie may well need defending, and you correct in saying we should not single out certain manufactures. My mother (who is not German, but infact from ipswich) is also a Audi driver, she currently has the Audi 100E – yes, they are still around!! this car hasnt got a performance bone in its well designed body – and my mother (Heidi Schneider from Ipswich) is not by any means a fast driver. For those who are interested, i have been enquiring on having my RS4 re mapped to a 580 bhp – Then you will really have something to complain about Jonnie!!
Regards, Peter. (schneider)
Report abuse
I’ve got a Ford Fiesta. I’m quite happy with it.
Report abuse
Hi Pete
Now that you have explained the wonderful power and excellent braking from your manhood/car and fantastic overtaking, why haven’t you mentioned oncoming traffic.Is it because you know very little about the old man traveling towards you in the 1.25 Ford Fiesta Finesse (possibly owned by the moderator )with its 73 bhp four cylinder fuel injected engine, and its steel front disc brakes and hydraulic power steering, who doesn’t have time to pull over and let you pass, because you are driving straight towards him on his side of the road..
Report abuse
Myself an Audi Driver and formally a BMW driver often find myself in tail backs caused by some idiot doing 45 in a 60 zone that’s were allot of power and stability come in handy, passing them in a couple of seconds rather than minutes seems safer to me, and I get to do in the comfort of leather bucket seats and top of the line entertainment system to keep me happy. Yep can really see how some people would hate those who can afford a Audi or BMW when they have to make do with a 05 reg rover or mondeo and there top of the line 8 track player, drum brakes and 1980s engineering under the bonnet. So those in the rovers of this world know NO your car isn’t meant to shake above 50mph!!!! Get out of the way im sorry you missed the scrapage scheme
Report abuse
Meaning of BMW & AUDI
BMW – Brains may Work, given the attitude of many BMW drivers I have encountered, appears indicators aren’t an option on BMW’s.
AUDI – An Unintellignet Driver Inside – see BMW above
Report abuse
Yep so unintelligent that they have a good job and enough money to buy one, some how your logic is flawed Martin. Must be the petrol fumes seeping into the cabin of your rover 200 gues drilling holes in the exhaust to make it sound like an RS4 wasnt such a good idea after all.
Report abuse
Who is Peter trying to impress, us or himself?. So he’s got a car which cost 74,000 and will go twice as fast as is legal.WOOOOW. In a test run over a reasonable distance, say, 60 miles, if Peter and Andrew left point A at the same time, they would probably arrive at point B within minutes of each other if they both observed the speed limits posted. Not at all impressive Peter and hardly worth the drivel you have written here. Have you got a bumper sticker saying ” I AM PETER, AREN’T I SUPER “?. No?, bet you will have soon.
Report abuse
I look forward to the day that Health and Safety Executive get involved in Driver Standards and Behaviour!Then we might just see some of the Morons taken off of our roads,irrespective of the vehicles they drive.
Report abuse
Mr Schneider.
Unfortunately, you aren’t painting even a half decent picture of Audi enthusiasts, and are confirming that many (though not all) are merely badge snobs.
You see, if you were a true Audi enthusiast you would know at least the minimum details of your soon-to-be-delivered car, and should even know such minutiae as torque split between the axles during normal driving / suspension arrangement / installed dampers (traditional or magnetorheological) etc.
But, based on your musings on this page, I’d suggest returning to your Audi Dealer to check exactly which model you are getting.
See. Audi have only ever made one model of RS4. Both saloon and Avant versions used a 4.2 litre normally aspirated FSI V8 engine developing 414bhp. This was discontinued about a year ago, and was supplanted by the RS6. Based on the A6 platform, and again available in both Avant (in the first instance) and subsequently saloon versions, this employed a 5 litre twin-turbocharged V10 deploying a not inconsiderable 572bhp to all four wheels, split 40:60 front to rear.
The only production Audi’s to use V10 engines have been the S8, the RS6, and the R8 V10.
So. Peter. Have you got a RS4 with a 414bhp V8? Or a RS6 with a 572bhp V10?
By the way, I am fond of Audis. I love the 80′s SWB Sport Quattro and ur-Quattro, and have always said that if I had to have just one car for the rest of my life, it would be a B5 RS2 Avant.
Report abuse
I’m glad I drive a VW and therefore am not caught up in this rant against drivers of German made cars.
Mr Schneider – I’ll try not to upset you too much when I blow past you on the twisties in my R32.
Very effective transportation for me, Mrs Knutsac and my two little Knutsacs.
Report abuse
EVO Magazine lap times for the West Circuit at Bedford Autodrome as follows.
Audi B7 RS4: 1:28.25
Golf R32 Mark V: 1:32.55
I think Phil (unless you drive like Troy Queef) that a B7 RS4 would be more than capable of keeping up with a R32 when the road gets nadgery.
Report abuse
You are forcing me to sound like Mr Schneider.
Maybe I omitted to mention the Streetwerke GT480 turbo kit that has been added along with the upgraded brakes, suspension and chip. A mere 480hp and 455 tourques.
Champagne performance on a beer budget, can’t beat it, but keepig it out of the hedge can be a challenge.
Maybe I’ll go the whole hog and get the 620hp version on my next Golf.
Report abuse
My Ford Fiesta’s got a good stereo in it…
Report abuse
OK, I’ll bite. So if German performance car drivers are so good, why is it that seemingly every time I am cut up, tailgated or, when a pedestrian, blocked from crossing a pedestrian crossing by a vehicle stopped right on top of it due to the driver’s poor reading of traffic flow, it is more often than not a BMW doing it? I am aware this is a generalisation, and I am sure there are considerate BMW drivers out there; however my opinion is based upon observation over many years. Why do people choose to buy this type of car? Do the purchasers believe the marketing hype and think that they will become the ultimate driver by owning one? Do they see themselves as the ultimate driver anyway and only these cars will be worthy of their skills? It does appear they gain an unbelievable level of arrogance rather than driving ability. Whatever way they see themselves and their vehicles of choice, perhaps they need to chill a bit. Incidentally I have nothing against powerful vehicles (I have two) I am not an older driver and nor do I hold up traffic – unless that traffic of course wishes to exceed the road’s speed limit, but then I am sure that that last point alone is enough to earn the derision of many ‘ultimate drivers’.
Report abuse
I used to drive a German vehicle, it was a V W campervan Wouldn’t do more than 60 if you pushed it off a cliff.
I used to love driving up Dinas Mawdwy at about 20 and having Mr BMW weaving about behind me and flashing his lights which was a big old over aggressive mistake as i would then be the widest vehicle on the road all the way until the Welshpool bypass..Don’t be too cool to wait because i can make you late..
Report abuse
Peter Schneider has gone very quiet. I assume that when he woke up the RS4 V10 (510 bhp with optional ceramic brakes @£3900) had turned back into the x reg metro 1.3 deluxe ( with optional drivers head rest and alloy look plastic hub caps @ £1.87) arr well we can all dream.
Report abuse
It is a sad day if you people can’t recognise exactly what Mr Schneider is doing, I believe it’s called having fun.
If you get bent out of shape by his comments maybe it’s time for you all to go back to reading your Beano Annual.
Now if he’s serious, then maybe his next mode of transport should involve padding and men in white coats.
Report abuse
“I used to drive a German vehicle, it was a V W campervan Wouldn’t do more than 60 if you pushed it off a cliff.
I used to love driving up Dinas Mawdwy at about 20 and having Mr BMW weaving about behind me and flashing his lights which was a big old over aggressive mistake as i would then be the widest vehicle on the road all the way until the Welshpool bypass..Don’t be too cool to wait because i can make you late..”
Spencer, totally impressed with your driving skills, consideration for other road users and common sense (not to mention adult attitude to life)…..NOT!!
Report abuse
I wouldn’t let people barge past me in the street, why should i let it happen in a car..
Report abuse
Am I the only person who worries that the South Shropshire Audi Owners’ Club may harbour expansionist tendencies? – their secretary obviously has a need for greater Autoraum – watch out Warwickshire!!
PS – did he mention how many horsepower he’s got…..?
Report abuse
This is one of the funniest threads that I’ve ever seen on here…..!
:-)
Report abuse
i have proved it to myself hundreds of times
yhat it still take as long to get from a-to-b
at 40 as it does at 60-70 even with the motorway so whats the rush and i can get twice the mpg
Report abuse
I agree, which is why Lewis Hamilton tends to average around 40Mph while racing as it takes the same time to cover the same distance as his competitors reaching speeds of 200Mph.
I hope you’re not a maths teacher!!!!
Report abuse
The slack jawedness of edwin’s comment beggars belief.
I challenge edwin to drive from Telford to rural Hampshire (15 miles east of Salisbury) in three hours at his steady 40mph. Your starting time, edwin, is 6 a.m. on a weekday. Your route is M54, M6, M5, A417, A303, past Stonehenge, then hang a left towards Teffont Magna.
Get back to me on that one, ta.
Report abuse
The death of Gene Hunt’s Quattro was a tragedy!
Report abuse
Just watched the last episode after being on holiday totally agree it was a classic car
Report abuse
who needs audi or bmw when you can drive merc
Report abuse
This isn’t Jeremy Clarkson is it?
Report abuse
” spencer
May 27, 2010 at 14:53
I wouldn’t let people barge past me in the street, why should i let it happen in a car..”
Now you are scaring me. I have visions of a 20 stone bloke walking down Wellington high street weaving from side to side to stop people “overtaking” you.
Report abuse