Blog: I spent the best part of Saturday cleaning ketchup off the sofa while the cat threw me dirty looks and I cursed the prime minister, writes Jason Lavan.

I woke up on Saturday after a casual lie in and sat down to watch the news with a greasy fry up.

Fork and sausage in one hand and the remote control in the other, I clicked over to BBC News and found Gordon Brown promising us “a future fair for all”.

My legs jerked up as I shouted at the TV “you’ve had 12 years to do that…”, and as I pointed my fork at the television and woke up the cat, who looked suitably unimpressed, the rashers slid over the sauce and on to the sofa.

I couldn’t believe it, here is our Prime Minster setting out his slogan for the election and asking us to effectively forget the past 12 years and believe in the next five.

Even the cat knows that’s rubbish.

Gordon, you have had more than a decade to make things fairer, not to mention a ten year golden age of economic prosperity, which could have funded a fairness strategy from even the hardest lefties in the party.

He asked us to take a second look at Labour and it just came across like some grovelling excuses from an unfaithful husband: “Please take me back, I know I’ve made mistakes…”

But interestingly, although Brown’s words did little to offer any hope, it was one of his first TV speeches which had an air of sincerity about it.

There appeared to be no You Tube advisors, no cue men for smiles, no Piers Morgan and it just might have worked.

If there’s one thing the British love it appears to be a good old fashioned apology. Sort of.

Brown is backed into a corner at the minute because he can’t come out and promise sweeping public sector change because people will ask why it hasn’t been done already, and he can’t offer us any luring increases in our net pay because the country is strapped for cash.

But what he can do is speak the truth and point out that the Conservatives currently stand for nothing.

Yes we know the failings of Labour, but a repeat of the red army is more appealing than the uncertainty of a Conservative government.

The public mood in 1997 was for change, a look to the future with hope.

But the public mood in 2010 seeks security and requires a period of healing, which the electorate will never seek from a party which is yet to set out its stall.

Then, as if Saturday’s excitement wasn’t enough, in yesterday’s Sunday Times the shadow chancellor, George Osborne MP, came out with a promise so daft I woke the cat just to tell him.

Osborne is looking to offer the public some ‘cheap’ shares when the government’s £70 billion stake in Royal Bank of Scotland and Lloyds Banking Group is sold.

The shares will be offered out at a ‘discount’ on the market price with young people and families on low income set to gain.

The cat rolled over and went back to sleep.

Remember the British Telecom and British Gas sell off. I wonder where Sid is now. Probably counting his lucky stars no one ever told him.

If the Tories thought for one moment those shares would be worth anything they would be holding on to them for dear life and not offering them to people with about as much experience in share prices as Tory MP Sir Nicholas Winterton has in second class travel.

I admire the sentiment, George, but if the shares are really worth something that money should be reinvested back into public services and not given to a select few. After all it was the us that paid for the bailout.

Come election day I hope to believe at least one of the party leaders.

In the mean time I have to get this stain out of the sofa.

In fact, I’ll just put the cat on it.

PS: Has anyone seen Nick Clegg?