Simon Alton, left, and Dave Burrows

Messrs Alton and Burrows encounter a tricky test with a leaking tap.

Houston, we have a problem.

The home brewing team of Alton and Burrows is facing its first crisis this week. Okay, so crisis might be overstating it somewhat, but we have hit our first snag.

After the semi-successful painting-by-numbers home brew that kicked off this whole venture, Si and I have now moved on to a slightly more advanced method – albeit still in kit form.

For the new beer – which looks a lot lighter than the slightly treacly debut brew – we’ve had to invest in a thermometer and a hydrometer to ensure it is at the optimum temperature and gravity to achieve the premium finish.

And, in yet another task for our embarrassingly amateur brains to cope with, we were even tasked with adding our own hops, which came in the form of what can only be described as a giant teabag.

The process for beginning our latest effort was not too dissimilar from the basic kit. Heating the contents of the cans (there were two this time, instead of just one for the easy-peasy method) in a pan of boiling water and then pouring it into the brewing bin. But then came the new stuff.

After that the “teabag” had to be dropped into one of the cans and more hot water added to leave it to brew. This is then added to the mix before adding cold water to create the wort.

Then we had to stir it. A lot.

Apparently, the process of oxygenating the mix can not be overemphasised. So, after ten minutes of me stirring it – vigorously, I might add – Si took over for another 10. And then on with the lid and left in the shed for a couple of weeks.

Fast forward a fortnight and the wort is now at the correct gravity and ready to be transferred to the barrel. No need for finings this time, as there was with the basic kit, because, as my Australian friend informed us last week, the beer will clear itself.

Despite appearing ready for drinking, it is not. Now the hardest part of home brewing begins. Waiting. We have to leave the beer for another two weeks before a taste test. The manufacturers, however, recommend leaving it another two weeks after that before actually settling down and enjoying it.

And this leads me to the problem. The advice is to store the beer at a cool and constant temperature. But horror of horrors, our barrel has sprung a leak! Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t beer gushing all over Si’s kitchen, but there is a bit of a dribble coming from the tap. For some reason Si doesn’t want amber nectar dripping over his floor (I blame his fiancée) and so, until the barrel can be replaced, it’s had to go outside.

This isn’t a constant temperature. And, being the amateurs we are, we have no idea if this is going to affect the brewing process of the end result. Time will tell I guess.

Hopefully it won’t cause us too many problems, because I was quite pleased to see the instructions for the latest kit included “advanced methods”.

And that’s what’s next. Provided this one doesn’t taste like kitchen cleaner, we will then try another one using the “advanced methods”. I won’t go into what they are – otherwise I won’t have anything to write about next time! But suffice it to say once we have mastered the “advanced methods”, it will be time for the big one.

Yes, once we are confident that we kinda know the basics and aren’t living in fear of blowing up any outbuildings, Si and I will move on to trying to create our own recipe!

By David Burrows