Hazel Blears rocked - and then sank - her political boat

Aren’t they priceless? Blears and Smith walk, Flint says she will, then doesn’t, and then goes on telly to embarrassingly polish the Prime Minister’s image.

At that stage a coveted job seemed likely.

Then, the next day, she was back on the box to announce that she was leaving her present post after all, because, it seemed, Mr Brown treated her like ‘window dressing’.

Leaving the glam modelling bit out of it, how can a serious politician have such a genuine change of heart in about 12 hours? Is Ms Caroline Flint a serious politician? I couldn’t possibly say.

So what now of Diddy Hazel Blears? It has taken her rather longer to announce her threefold remorse after taking the train ‘back to my people’ only to find that her people wanted to dump her anyway.

Now, she is sorry for the timing of an anti-Gordon piece she wrote in a newspaper, sorry for that ridiculous boat-rocking

brooch she wore and I can’t remember the third thing she’s sorry for – though she’s probably sick as a parrot that she is suddenly just a run-of-the-mill MP again (for now) and nobody is bothering to ask her opinion on anything or seek her gems of wisdom on Question Time. Of course she’s flipping sorry.

I’m bored with Hazel now anyway. But wasn’t it funny last night seeing her all wide-eyed and without that slightly manic smile? Weird.

The controversial brooch. Not so clever now, apparently

The big mystery, though, as Gordie’s girls (and a few chaps) left the stage, is this: Where is the other former political heavyweight, Jacqui Smith?

Jacqui, who has always reminded me of an especially tedious teacher I once had, seems to have disappeared without trace, doubtless to one of her homes. Well she was Home Secretary, I suppose.

And no doubt there will be life after it all even if there is no going back.

Regrets? Oh yes, as the Brown bandwagon rolls ever onwards with Mandy holding the reigns, I’ll bet they’ve had a few.

By Shirley Tart