Carl Jones enjoys a trip on the largest cruise ship in the world, and previews the next generation . . . which is bolder and even bigger.

Sometimes, when you’re sitting in a cafe minding your own business, you can’t help but overhear people’s conversations . . . that’s my excuse, anyway.

This particular one sounded fascinating. “You should see it,” the excited mum was saying, painting an imaginary Rolf Harris-style portrait in thin air. “It’s got palm trees, a swimming pool that transforms into an open-air theatre, and it can cater for well over five thousand people.”

What could she be talking about? A massive new beachside entertainment complex? Well, sort of. For Oasis of the Seas, an eye-wateringly huge new cruise ship, will certainly be entertaining, and will sit beside many a beach when it comes into service in December this year.

Royal Caribbean International continues to surpass itself. It already owns Independence of the Seas, the largest passenger cruise ship in the world where we are currently sat, in a cafe on the ship’s impressive shopping street, The Royal Promenade.

But Oasis, which will be sailing out of Fort Lauderdale in its debut season, dwarfs it in size and innovation.

Unless you’re a seafaring sort, it’s hard to grasp just how enormous the world’s cruise ships have become – so let’s put it into a bit of Shropshire-themed perspective. You could fit the entire population of Ellesmere, Church Stretton, Dawley, Broseley or Much Wenlock on board Independence of the Seas and still leave space to invite a few friends and relatives along for the ride.

What’s more, it has more leisure facilities than any of those towns could dream of. A theatre, cinema, casino, pubs, champagne bars, health spa, fast-food diner, umpteen gourmet restaurants and takeaways, shopping mall, library, internet cafe and even a boxing ring and an ice-skating rink . . . yes, honest!

Add to this the chance to have a different port of call delivered to your doorstep almost every morning, and it’s clear to see why the cruise market is still holding up reasonably well in the credit crunch.

These days, there are ships to suit every personality – and most budgets. Award-winning Royal Caribbean International is a four-star-plus brand, competing in the same sort of market as P&O. Its ships are full of colour, variety, and energy, not to mention some of the finest food afloat.

Despite being a US-owned firm, it has recognised the potential of the fast-growing British cruise market by choosing Southampton as Independence’s home port.

When the nights close in, and the temperature gauge plummets, we yearn for a last dose of sun. So it’s no wonder the ship’s 11-night Canary Islands winter itinerary was so popular. In addition to Tenerife, Gran Canaria and Lanzarote, we also called at the Atlantic island of Madeira, before stop-offs in Lisbon and the Spanish fishing town of Vigo on the way home.

You got the impression many passengers hadn’t really studied the ports in any great detail, though. They were more interested in escaping for sunnier climes and, once we’d got through an uncomfortably choppy first day round the Bay of Biscay, their wishes came true.

The beauty of cruising is that you can do as little, or as much, as you like. Experiencing everything on offer, however, is a full-time job. Early birds will need to be up at around 5am to see the ship pulling into port, while if you want to be last man standing at the nightclub on Independence, you’ll need to set your sights beyond 3am.

In between, there’s formal dining at the impressive three storey Shakespeare-themed dining room, casual dining at the buffet-style Windjammer which grills a mean sirloin steak, and speciality dining (for a small extra charge) at the excellent Italian-themed Portofino’s, or the even more impressive Chops Grille steakhouse. It doesn’t do to dwell too long on your waistline in this sort of environment.

Sometimes, you forget you are even at sea. The Royal Promenade, which runs through the heart of the ship, is an imposing shopping mall with boutiques, ice-cream parlours, pizza houses, an English-style pub, and countless other retail outlets.

Below it is a thriving casino, sumptuous theatre showing West End-quality productions each evening, and even an ice-skating rink where professionals put on a couple of impressive shows.

But Independence’s signature feature is the ‘Flowrider’, the world’s first ever onboard surf simulator, on which you can either surf or body-board real waves in a triumph of engineering. Fearing it may test the dodgy knees a little too fiercely, I vowed to leave my flirtation with Flowrider until after our last port of call – by which time it was unfortunately temporarily out of action and under repair. I think my wife was secretly relieved, for both our sakes!

As far as the ports go, Madeira was our favourite. In a busy four-hour excursion we managed to pack in a cable-car trip to the high-altitude village of Monte, a breakneck ride down the hillsides in a wicker basket (the island’s quirky and most famous tourist attraction), and an all-too-brief chance to taste the sherry-like Madeira wine. We’ll be coming back to this green and gently pleasant land for a longer stay some time.

Of the Canary island ports, Las Palmas in Tenerife was the best, conveniently located not only for the duty-free shops, but a gentle walk from two nice beaches, or the embarkation point for an open-top bus tour of the city. It was unfortunate that most of Lisbon was closed when we pulled into port on the final Sunday, but the following day’s trip to Vigo made up for this – its labyrinth of steep and winding streets, and ruins of the 16th-century Santa Maria de Dozo church, are fascinating reminders of the city’s former greatness.

It’s indicative of this ship’s size that a review such as this can barely scratch the surface. We’ve not had time to extol the virtues of the adults-only solarium pool with cascading waterfall, the sports court with football, crazy golf and basketball facilities, rock climbing wall, On Air karaoke club, fabulous Mojito cocktails at Bolero’s bar, or indeed our excellent superior balcony cabin, with double bed, flat-screen TV and all the creature comforts you could ever need.

The extra couple of hundred quid to get yourself a balcony is probably the best value cash you’ll spend on a cruise such as this.

How much bigger can these ships get? And why don’t such massive beasts sink under the weight? Let’s just trust the engineers.

But while we’re asking questions, one final teaser. It was early October on our high seas voyage, and there were probably 200 boisterous children on board . . . why weren’t they at school?

Travel Facts:

Independence of the Seas has a busy itinerary from Southampton this year. The next 10-night Canary Islands tours leave on May 27 and September 2, with prices from £989 per person. For more details, including the latest on Oasis of the Seas, log on to www.royalcaribbean.com, or call 0845 165 8414.