Titan thrills shoppers in Telford. Picture: Andy Cunningham.

You couldn’t have written the script for this, writes blogger Andy Richardson.

Titan, an 8ft robot, arrived in Telford yesterday. Promoters dished out posters telling the assembled throngs he represented the face of 21st century technology.

See Titan in action here

• For more pictures see below

Drum roll. Fanfare. Curtain Up.

“Erm … Titan’ll be five minutes.” Houston, we have a problem.

Hundreds of half term shoppers gathered to watch Titan’s grand entrance at 11am. It was comical. He rode out of a disused shop on the back of a motorised golf cart then, moments later, rode straight back in.

A stony-faced security guard guarded the entrance, presumably so shoppers couldn’t see the crack engineers changing his AAA batteries.

Quite what had caused the problem, organisers didn’t say. So shoppers were left to speculate. “Titan’s broken down,” laughed the young member of staff at nearby HMV. “We can charge him from my mobile,” said another.

Titan underwent speedy repairs. His engineers fixed a stereo that had been spewing out white noise and static – ccrrssschchwwwzzzz, ccrrssschchwwwzzzz – rather than a dramatic opening sequence of high energy music.

And then, minutes later, he was back. “Laydeees and gentlemeeen. We give you the future of entertainment. Titan.”

To be honest, he looked more like the robot from a well-known car commercial. And, though we can’t be sure, a few onlookers suggested Titan was actually a man in a rather elaborate costume, complete with a soundtrack and funny blue disco lights.

But let’s not spoil the magic. Let’s suppose that Titan was real, a 21st century cyberborg equipped to take us to new frontiers.

What special powers did he have? Could he conquer evil and save the planet. Could he knock up a really delicious ham and swiss sandwich? No. None of that. Titan took us across the threshold of our tomorrows by singing Lady In Red to little schoolgirls, serenading grandfathers with versions of Grandad I Love You and thrilling crowds with schmaltzy renditions of Louis Armstrong’s Wonderful World.

If Titan really is the face of the future, I think I’ll stay in the here and now. Or, better still, I’ll go Back To The Past.