With our emergency services currently beleaguered by yobbish behaviour and trivial calls, I’ve decided to relay my Christmas adventures to readers in hopes of reminding us all why we should be thanking our lucky stars to be so cosseted.

I seem to have a flair for getting into sticky situations and you should know by now I don’t do things by halves…

Having been lucky enough to wangle myself a seat on a plane to Egypt again this year, just in time to escape the slush and sleigh bells, off I skipped with the full intention of doing nothing but laze around in the sun. 

But after a week of sunbathing, I decided on a Sunrise Desert Safari – sounds harmless, doesn’t it? And the serenity and rugged beauty of the Sinai Desert took my breath away as my guide and I paced slowly through the sand at dawn, waiting for the sun to come up.

It seemed a strange and wonderful place to find myself on a late December day, and I tried to freeze the moment in my memory as the guide ushered me to a natural nook in the rock wall alongside the desert track. I was just looking forward to watching the desert sunrise in comfort when . . . I tripped.

Now a trip to most is a minor issue and easily righted, but this is me we’re talking about and I’m about as steady as a matchstick in the wind. I fell badly and felt my hip dislocating as I went, until I was hanging backwards over a rock with my hip out of its socket, my kneecap shattered, and the awful realisation that there’d be no ambulance with flashing lights to come and scoop me up this time. Gazing up at the dawn sky from my new, crazy angle, I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of this one! 

Slowly, as it turned out and mostly because of my guide, who just happened to be the best choice I ever made – he set about the rescue mission. But listening to his footfalls disappearing, lying in the huge silence of the desert, knowing I could do nothing to help myself except try to overcome the pain and have faith in his swift return, was easily the most terrifying situation I’ve found myself in so far.

Luckily my faith in him was well placed and he came back with a sleepy Bedouin family and their truck. They fashioned a stretcher from an old ladder and drove me, very slowly, through the bumpy, desert to the road and salvation.

The rest is but a dim and fading memory, thankfully, but there are two things I will never again take for granted: our amazing emergency services, and the incredible kindness of strangers. And I may leave the exotic travel out, just for a bit! 

Hope your Christmas and New Year was as amazing, if less eventful than mine.

• Finally, just a special mention to Patrick Gregson, my hip/knee surgeon and all-round saviour. I was upset to hear he is not feeling too great. Just wanted to let you know Mr G. that I, amongst many others, am thinking of you and sending all my best get-well vibes. Selfishly of course – where would I be without you?