a once-a-year fashion and film fest, and that little gold statuette was the only thing that mattered in an actor’s career.

Now we’ve got the Golden Globes, the Baftas, The Razzies, and a whole host of Beverly Hills ceremonies seemingly designed to make sure none of the luvvies miss out.

It’s a bit like Corrie – good fun when it was half an hour three times a week, but every 30 minutes of virtually every evening? Give us a break.

Take Monday’s Hollywood awards ceremony, just days after some other equally forgettable tinseltown bash. Lindsay Lohan, pictured above, was named best newcomer, despite having been on our screens for at least five years. Presumably she was picked because they knew she’d be up for a night on the tiles in a posh frock.

Oliver Stone picked up a best director gong for World Trade Center – a cheesy retelling of September 11 which has left most audiences relatively unmoved, but of course is part of the therapeutic rebuilding of America.

And Robin Williams, pictured right, for lifetime achievement? Possibly fair enough, but even these recipients seem to be getting younger by the day, don’t they!

Then there’s Ben Affleck, a plank who would run Keanu Reeves a close second in the “most wooden leading actor” competition, picked up a best supporting actor gong. Should have been made from MDF, I reckon.

Perhaps the answer is to take the number of nominations people receive in such categories at these obscure bashes and multiply them by the number of tickets the paying public have bought for their movie. That way, at least they’d have some semblance of justice and credibility.

So what’s going to be putting bums on seats this week? To be fair, at least one movie which deserves to be up there for an honourable mention when the Academy Awards are handed out in March next year.

All The King’s Men has a starry cast – Sean Penn, pictured right, Anthony Hopkins, Jude Law and Kate Winslet – telling the story of Robert Penn Warren’s 1946 Pulitzer Prize-winning morality tale in America’s deep south. It gets a bit mired in places, but has sparkling performances and great photography.

Sir Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe are also back together for the first time since mega-successful sword and sandals epic Gladiator.

They don’t quite scale the heights in A Good Year, about an arrogant and selfish city slicker who inherits a chateau and vineyard in Provence, but is like a £5.99 bottle from Tesco – better than your average cheap plonk, but forgettable after a couple of hours.

And then there’s Step Up, which follows the path previously trodden by Fame, Dirty Dancing and Save The Last Dance. It’s a fairy-tale of dancing passions and impossible young dreams being realised. Lively, and cheesy, in equal measure.

A cheese and wine week, you might say.