Look, if you’ve turned to this page in the hope of getting a decent summary of last night’s Horizon, a sort of 500 words or thereabouts cut out and keep guide to the key points outlined by Dr Rozina Ali, then I’d keep turning if I were you.

There’s a lovely feature on page 8, and some smashing letters from our lovely readers on page 9. Move along, why don’t you. There’s nothing to see here.

Oh, don’t look so disappointed. I tried, honestly I did, but after about half an hour or so I realised I was losing the plot. I blame the shock caused by seeing that big warm orangey thing in the sky for three days running. I think it’s damaged my brain.

Mind you, according to Dr Ali its ultra-violet rays are also playing merry hell with my complexion, slowly thrashing the pants off the collagen that keeps the skin supple and youthful.

Now this, I could follow, and the tests carried out on two lorry drivers which proved the sunlight streaming through their cab windows was ageing the right side of their faces faster than it was the left, was interesting viewing indeed.

Even Dr Ali wasn’t immune. “There’s no question that from now on I will be slapping on sunscreen when I’m driving,” she said, leaving millions of viewers thinking, ‘Have you taken leave of your senses, woman? You’ll crash.’

And so the top plastic surgeon set off on one of those ‘journeys’ you have to take in order to make any sort of documentary programme these days.

Her mission was to find out what was being done to stop the ageing process; my mission was to try to keep up as she whacked me about the head with free radicals, glycobiology and oxidative stress while flitting from Manchester to London to Egypt to Berlin to Paris. (Recession? Pah!)

I think part of the problem was that the director clearly had a bit of a thing for the presenter. She’s certainly a looker and no mistake, not to mention dazzlingly clever, but I don’t think we needed to see quite that many shots of her walking in and out of buildings, up and down various streets and gazing out over the Seine. (Remember old Dr Magnus Pyke? They wouldn't have done that with him.)

I know it’s a mad suggestion, but why not spend a little less time on her and a bit more on the substance of the programme?

After all, the ideas being discussed were fascinating – that diet is linked to ageing; that the same ingredients which allow coral reefs to protect themselves from the sun’s rays could be used to protect us; and that a pill is being developed which could make old skin look younger – I’d just have liked a bit more than 10 minutes to explore each one.

So, that summary you wanted earlier. Er, basically, eat lots of oily fish, cut down on the sugar, avoid starchy foods such as pasta and rice and eat plenty of broccoli – about half a kilo a day – and that will help to protect your features while the boffins finish off developing the pills that will leave you looking eternally youthful. It shouldn’t take about five years if you’re lucky.

Oh, and in the meantime, wear plenty of sunscreen.

Just don’t put it on while you’re driving, eh.

Andrew Owen