The Hairy Bikers’ Bakeation - TV review

The stereotypical Brit, when visiting Spain, doesn’t spend time asking for access to domestic kitchens and trying out the local delicacies.

You don’t find cod neck in a cod skin sauce and squid simmered in its own ink all over the menus of the Costa del Sol, and your typical Brit doesn’t use his pint of Stella to wash down a handful of goose barnacles (20 euros for 100 grams, apparently).

But then the Hairy Bikers don’t present your usual vision of Brits abroad.

They concluded a 7,000-mile tour of Europe on the closing episode of the Hairy Bikers’ Bakeation on BBC2 last night.

There was a point in time when Dave and Si were refreshingly cheeky northern bikers providing a new take on the increasingly common sight of cooks on the telly.

Nowadays, they seem more like your typical housewives’ favourite.

There’s increasingly something of the Titchmarsh about the enthusiastic twosome.

It’s all jovial stuff. They have a bit of a sing-song with some Spanish people who have cooked them a tasty meal, they embrace local culture, have a bit of a dance around a fire.

There’s lots of daft noises and novelty graphics, plus a tidy smattering of second-rate puns.

Some of the food looks absolutely smashing, but I’m not sure it’s anything I’ll ever try to make.

They make bread-baking look oh so easy, but I bet it’s not. In the name of science I intend to try to follow one of these recipes one day. My hypothesis is that my kitchen will end up looking like the closing scene of Ghostbusters. I’ll let you know how I get on.

One particularly time-consuming loaf takes a day and a half to prepare from scratch. I can only assume our hairy heroes had some snacks hidden off-camera, as they’re not small fellows and that’s a long time to wait for a sandwich.

I do wonder whether people still have an appetite for food programmes.

It’s great that people take an interest in what they eat, and are willing to be a little adventurous in their cooking.

It can be hard to treat the Hairy Bikers as much more than moving wallpaper. I regularly find myself getting distracted and drifting away from the telly, only to be sucked in by the sudden appearance of a particularly tasty looking pie – their Basque chicken number looks very much to my taste.

I think the bikers themselves might be getting a little distracted too. They seem to be thinking about home an awful lot after seven weeks on the road.

Bilbao is “like Newcastle but without stotties,” Si the light-haired Geordie biker sighs as he wistfully pines for his hometown. Stotties, for the uninitiated, are a type of North Eastern bread. You might need to know that, as Si bangs on about them a bit.

The Hairy Bikers potter about together like an old married couple at times, finishing one another’s jokes and jokily curling a lip at one another’s quirks.

They get very absorbed in the food they eat – Si moans with delight as he tips a Spanish sausage roll down his maw, groaning “Aw man, it’s mega” just to fill the vacant airtime as his eyes swivel around his head at the pleasure of it all. It’s lovely to see the pair take such a joy in what they are doing, and there’s not an ounce of cynicism about any of it.

But eventually, as with every hearty meal, you get to the point where you’ve just about had enough.

And I’m sorry to say, lads, that I couldn’t take another bite.

Thom Kennedy