Blog: All last week’s elections proved is that nobody votes for anybody any longer. Pretty well every cross cast was making a choice against something or someone.

Those who used to rush to the warm embrace of the Lib Dems as a refuge from government or council action, gave leader Clegg a slap on each youthful cheek by voting Labour instead. This, of course, was because when the Lib lot were a minority voice with no power and little influence, they could say and do as they liked. Now, in this new political world, far from being seen as responsible politicians supporting a minority government in the interests of the nation, they are being persecuted for sleeping with the enemy. And a year after the liaison began, Mr Clegg is paying some price – reflected in his agonised demeanour – for his choice of bedmates. Meanwhile, his own cavalry is slagging off everyone in the Tory homestead with Business Secretary Vince Cable labelling his Conservative colleagues “ruthless, calculating and thoroughly tribal” but says they’ll still all work together in a coalition.

Hmm!

Meanwhile, undoubtedly many extra votes won by Labour were a direct kick at a largely Conservative led regime (tuition fees, National Health, benefits) rather than a positive choice for Mr Miliband’s Labour Party.

Anyway, Scotland showed them the way home and we could soon need passports to cross the border. Now, Nick has mopped himself up, is showing his muscle and demanding that NHS reforms meet his criteria, else he won’t vote for them.

Ooh Auntie: like Coronation Street this one looks set to run and run.

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While serious obesity can be a health problem, what can we draw from the one in six women surveyed for something or other who said they would rather be blind than overweight? Apart from acknowledging their seriously mentally disturbed condition, that is.

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I still can’t quite work out how super injunctions work except that you can be locked up for revealing that some celebrity is so protected. But what they will do (especially now that serious Twittering is going on) is be the catalyst for rumour and innuendo which the ‘innocent’ are bound to deny, and who can blame them? Which is why Jemima Khan was moved to tweet the following: “Rumour that I have a super injunction preventing publication of “intimate” photos of me and Jeremy Clarkson. Not True!”

Mind you, I think we’d have worked that one out, dear. You and the singularly bullish, unfunny and veering on the juvenile Mr Clarkson? No..o..o..o..o!

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As Britain’s first female self-made (as against inheriting) billionaire, Specsavers founder, Dame Mary Perkins not only made the Sunday Times Rich List but also joined 72 others in the country who have soared from just rich status to really, really, seriously rich.

Is it coincidence then, that this week, EastEnders actress Kara Tointon is launching a Specsavers campaign to find people who look good in glasses to take part in a national modelling competition? Two things to draw from this: the Caribbean holiday prize won’t make a massive dent in Dame Mary’s bank balance and isn’t it amazing that for all those who never did go to Specsavers (like the farmer who sheared his poor dog by mistake) how many millions across the land must have done!

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Wayne Rooney might be in trouble again for appearing to flick a two-fingered gesture at Chelsea fans. Might be, appeared to? Yes, well the trouble is, with his reputation as an ill-disciplined, out of control young man, his reputation goes before him and does him no favours at all.