Telly Talk: Tess in towering heels, Cheryl in cheeky hosiery and Ann’s airborne antics. And that’s before we even get started on flirty Felicity and that smacker.

The crazy world of Saturday night in the countdown to Christmas is always a rollercoaster ride, but the stylists are working overtime on Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor while those coming up with the gimmicks and stunts are beavering away feverishly in the next room.

It’s certainly not enough to just look good these days, never mind just settle for being talented. Crazy people are taking over the stage – that’s the only explanation for Tess Daly’s ridiculously high heels, Cher Lloyd’s manic mop of hair and poor Paije Richardson trying to carry off a series of jackets that time forgot, never mind Rebecca Ferguson’s vividly-coloured wig. It was as if Storm had left her a going-away present when he got booted off. The girl doesn’t need any extra attention-seeking devices. She can belt out a tune like no other.

Unlike Ann Widdecombe who, let’s face it, needs to make herself stand out in the amusement stakes. Descending from the ceiling should just about do the trick. Full admiration though; it was a brave move for a woman of maturing years and certainly in keeping with this year’s collection of girl power seniors.

And Flexible Felicity, as Bruno Tonioli dubbed her a few weeks ago, certainly wowed on Saturday night, while Pamela Stephenson put in another flawless performance. I’m loving the way these girls are leaving the usual suspects in the shade – the young men with the six packs and the girls, who to be fair, opt for the less is more plan of attack a little too much for family viewing.

Cue Ceryl Cole – it was certainly her weekend for a comeback. The nation’s sweetheart has been anything but over the last few weeks as fans turned on her two acts, Cher and Katie. Never mind – a few tears on Piers Morgan’s chatshow on Saturday night and a risqué outfit 24 hours later and all is right with the world again.

Felicity Kendal and Vincent Simone dancing the tango. And doing other things.

I know the woman has battled serious illness and has had a cheating husband and resulting divorce to contend with, but there is something cynical in me that can’t help losing all sympathy when she opens her heart – just as she has a new single and album to promote.

She performed that very single on last night’s results show, and while the old ‘Did she sing live or mime?’ controversy reared its ugly head – we’ve been here before, only last year, and frankly who cares? – the attention was squarely focused on those stripey stockings and tutu-style hotpants . Kylie really does have a lot to answer for.

But at least it brought about something of a peace deal between her and fellow judge Louis Walsh. He declared he “absolutely loved it” , although no-one asked whether he meant the outfit or the singing.

Then again, the war of words has switched focus to Simon Cowell. He dished up his own revenge for Louis’s recent criticism by voting off the Irish mentor’s act John Adeleye last night. He joined Peter Shilton on the subs bench after the former goalie was axed from Strictly.

I wish I could say these two will be missed or that it was a particular shock exit for either. But amid the wardrobe wizardry and high-flying gimmicks it wasn’t and they won’t.

Tracey O’Sullivan