I have taken to channel surfing in a big way, writes World Cup Widow Tracey O’Sullivan.

While watching this World Cup has been an interesting experiment and I have felt the full raft of emotions, from bitter disappointment to relief and elation, I think I’m facing my own showdown as England take on Germany tomorrow.

You see this was never about the football – it was always about the party. And therein lies the rub.

I’m no fool and the signs looked good that Fabio was going to take England all the way – right up until the tournament kicked off that is. In fact it had not looked so good for a long time.

Now the World Cup always brings with it a feverous excitement even though, and I admit this is said with limited knowledge, fans have come to expect only heartbreak.

So for me I couldn’t stop thinking about how absolutely out of the world the mood would be if they did actually get to the final.

I had this niggling fear that I would moan throughout – only fair at the amount of time it normally takes up for He Who Knows – and then come final day be given the coldest of shoulders as I tried to pretend I cared.

So I wanted to really care. I could visualise those celebrations and I wanted to intensely share in it.

The problem is getting there has only been made easy by the added drama without too much at stake – the strikes, the expulsions, Fabio’s squadfather act after John Terry stepped out of line and Landon Donovan.

Now in the style of Becks, Mr Donovan has opened his mouth and revealed he should really keep it shut. What is it with footballers and their pretty faces but cartoon-character voices?

And the football is getting a little serious for my liking. Tomorrow as England step out onto the pitch I want to feel the fun again. And somehow not too sure I will.

I have started to get thirty minutes through a game (while playing Solitaire on my iphone) and feel like I’ve done my bit, make my excuses to He Who Knows and sneak upstairs to watch a different channel – multi-room, a saviour for relationships everywhere.

Even his briefing on last night’s game and how SPAIN –yes he did emphasis it with hand gestures and everything several times – could go out didn’t fill me with enthusiasm.

Frankly unless that meant my next holiday to the lovely Spanish coast was suddenly on hold I couldn’t really summon up any excitement for this latest slice of the pantomime.

Last night I was just back to being irritated at Coronation Street getting the boot in favour of the footie.

Is that a good or a bad thing? I don’t really know. And can I recapture a little of that addiction that was building up before England’s last group game? I would like to.

At the risk of sounding sentimental there is something really sweet watching hubby now get all excited about watching these crucial clashes with me.

The bubbly was out again last night and his animated explanations of how this last group was stacking up was certainly an improvement on the normal passable grunts I get during a World Cup.

A bit like that time he got caught up in Grey’s Anatomy – totally loved that you could hear a pin drop when we both realised George was going to be killed off.

The novelty soon wore off but it was nice while it lasted. I’m sure he’s feeling the same.

So today I plan to build up my own drama for tomorrow’s game. See I have drawn Germany in the office sweep and thinking I may wind up He Who Knows with a little friendly competition in our house.

After all the German and the English media are going hammer and tongs at each other today.

And who would deny a healthy dose of teasing banter never did a marriage any harm.

Whether I can really carry off the I want Germany to win line I don’t know.

But it should be fun trying and we’ll both hopefully be glued to same television come tomorrow afternoon for the full duration of the game.