Louie meets Emma Bunton in his typically dignified and restrained manner. Oh for pity's sake act your age, man.

Blog: All right, enough’s enough, writes David Burrows.

I was quite happy to laugh at the antics of the non-entity that is Louie Spence when he was the subject of borderline schoolyard bullying at the hands of Harry Hill on the quite brilliant TV Burp.

But these things have a way of spiralling out of control. Remember Mr Blobby? Well, it’s happened again.

If you haven’t heard of Spence, consider yourself fortunate.

He is the “star” of the reality TV show Pineapple Dance Studios on Sky.

But more importantly than that, he appears to think all you need to do to become famous is to ensure that every time someone points a camera at you, you mince around like someone attempting a complex dance move after their spine has been removed.

Unfortunately, other people seem to agree and now he has become a “celebrity” (but only in the “I’m a…Get Me Out of Here” sense of the word).

Spence is the most pointless creation in the whole of reality TV. And if that isn’t a bold statement, I don’t know what is.

When Harry Hill first started mocking him, I mocked along. Mock the Weak, if you will.

But by the end of the series I was yelling at the TV, such was the irritation I now felt as his mere presence. Look at me. Look at MEEE. LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!

I didn’t think I could get more irritated. But today I am. The source of my irritation? The beautiful Kylie Minogue and Emma Bunton (I never thought I’d say that).

You see Spence turned up at the Premier of Sex and the City 2. And, true to form, while the other celebs just posed for the camera, Spence went to default setting. LOOOOOOOOK AAAAAAAAATTTTTTT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He dived at the feet of Ms Bunton and Ms Minogue.

He pulled some bizarre downward facing dog yoga move in front of the pop princess, while kissing the one-time Spice Girl’s feet as if he worshipped the ground she walked on.

And what’s wrong with these pictures?

Well, do you see Kylie taking the perfect opportunity to bring her knee up into his chin and render him unconscious? No. You do not.

Do you see Emma kicking him full in the face, while screaming obscenities which would be translated by a family newspaper as: Please go away, I find you a tad annoying.

No.

These bone fide celebs are laughing along, playing the game. Justifying his worthless existence.

God knows reality TV has turfed out some morons in its time, but with Louie Spence it has gone a step too far.

Or possibly a quick-step too far.

LOOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

No. Sod off.