The Love Guru

THE PLOT: Guru Pitka (Mike Myers) leaves his beloved mentor Tugginmypuddha (Ben Kingsley) and mountain retreat to establish himself as an expert in self-help and spirituality in his birth home of America.

To raise his profile, Pitka agrees to help hockey player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) to heal a rift with his estranged wife Prudence (Meagan Good).

Alas, she already has a new lover who happens to be Darren’s sworn rival on the ice, Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake), nicknamed “Le Coq” because of an anatomical blessing.

Roanoke takes her betrayal badly and his form suffers, distressing Maple Leafs owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) and diminutive coach Cherkov (Verne Troyer).

So Pitka employs his famed D.R.A.M.A. teaching system (Distraction, Regression, Adjustment, Maturity, Action) to reunite the Roanokes and maybe even win Jane’s heart.

THE VERDICT: When it opened in America, Hindu leaders were not amused by Myers’ mockery of their spiritual leaders.

In truth, no one will be particularly amused by this crass and humourless tale, which mixes lacklustre comic vignettes with Bollywood-style interpretations of Western musical classics.

There’s the unmistakable whiff of Austin Powers about the mishmash of slapstick, innuendo and sight gags, from the barrage of double entendres to Myers’ incessant, toothy gurning at the camera as he glides from scene to scene on Pitka’s motorised cushion.

A musical nod to Wayne’s World raises a begrudging smile, but on the whole the script blunders from one pitiful punchline to the next.

A smattering of flat and pointless celebrity cameos (Jessica Simpson, Val Kilmer, Kanye West, and Myers as himself) do little to lift the gloom.

It’s not a mean spirited film - just a dull one.

Review by the Shropshire Star’s Carl Jones - Star rating: 4/10