The alarm pierces your silence with all the panache of a jumbo jet. You pull back the duvet as if it were made of lead and stagger toward the bathroom and the sanctuary of a dressing gown.
Once enveloped, you pad downstairs to the kitchen whose halogen lightbulbs give you an insight into Western torture tactics.
A boiling kettle soothes and irritates in equal measure - offering the promise of relief but taking its time to get there. But once brewed, a cuppa is the first sign that life is actually worth living.
Given that this routine has been adopted by millions of people across the United Kingdom, is it any wonder 47 per cent of us eat breakfast on our own? I mean, who would want to sit across the table and discuss the upcoming pleasures of yet another Monday morning when the face staring back at you is two parts asleep, two parts depressed and covered in pillow creases?
On the flip-side, there are also those who spring out of bed before the alarm and are showered and dressed and knocking up a full English while whistling as if their life depended on it. We just don’t like to talk about them because for every straight-up whistler there is a poor partner wishing they could get five more minutes’ worth of shut-eye without “one man and his dog” downstairs.
No wonder then that breakfast is the nation’s most-loved and yet most-hated meal. The thought of forcing down a plate of sausage and bacon at 7am will invoke an involuntary reflex in some, while for others it’s the fuel which starts their engines.
Whichever one you are - the early bird or the self-confessed night owl - there is still no getting away from the importance of breakfast, not just to our health but to our economy.
A
s we mark the mark the start of Farmhouse Breakfast Week, research done by the Cardiff University School of Psychology has shown that eating breakfast helps children function better in school than those who skip the first meal of the day.
The results revealed children who start the day with cereal are nine per cent more alert, 11 per cent less emotionally distressed, 13 per cent less tired, 17 per cent less anxious, 10 per cent less likely to suffer memory and attention span difficulties and 33 per cent less likely to suffer from stomach complaints than those who have no breakfast.
Whether it’s enough to stop others from kicking fathers to death on the streets or nicking cars or taking drugs has yet to be shown.
This issue is a bit more tricky than simply offering a daily dose of Ready Brek to young offenders. But the research shows that a decent meal in the morning, whether it’s a bowl of Rice Krispies or a couple of slices of toast, is better than having nothing at all.
Financially, Shropshire’s farmers and producers rely on it too. We have a relative bounty of great produce at our fingertips, so by eating a good breakfast it can give our county economy an important boost.
David Haighton runs Muckleton Meats just north of Telford, an enterprise in which he carefully rears rare breed pigs to produce enviable sausages, bacon and pork joints. Call him a creature of habit, but a daily plate of sausage, egg and bacon is enough to keep him firing on all cylinders throughout the day.
“There is something immensely satisfying about a good breakfast,” he says. “Admittedly I go for a plain pork sausage because I don’t really get this whole Jamie Oliver thing about smothering everything in rosemary and garlic as you can’t taste the meat.
“If you start off with great meat in the first place then it really doesn’t need anything else added to it.”
Rob Cunningham, of Maynards Farm Bacon on the A49 at Prees Heath, may start his day with a slice of toast with the family, but at 10.30am he ensures he gets his daily intake of sausage and bacon.
“While it’s important for me and the staff on a personal level, it’s also a great opportunity to test out some of our new products,” he explains.
“We have just launched a pork and marmalade sausage which is going down really well and we’ve also teamed up with brewer Jack Hanby to do a pork and ale sausage too.”
Although in our bid to encourage children to eat breakfast the manufacturers have gone on a pleasure overdrive - CDs, books, toys and vouchers are all cunning ploys to get the little devils to eat up first thing in the morning - a hearty farmhouse breakfast is the no frills equivalent.
You won’t find a puzzle with your pack of sausages or a DVD with your bacon. The only problem is you may have to eat it on your own. Given what most of us look like in the morning, it’s probably best we do.
By Rural Affairs Editor Nathan Rous
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