Easy peasy, this motoring lark, writes Ben Bentley. The hardest part is choosing which driving gloves to wear.
And therein lies the problem: everyone on the road thinks they’re Lewis Hamilton.
“When it is safe to do so, please pull away on to the highway,” says driving instructor and mock examiner Steve Pearce to the Mr Bean-like figure at the wheel.
After tootling along the A49 at Harlescott on the outskirts of Shrewsbury, Steve instructs me to take a right at the next roundabout.
It’s Monkmoor - Monkmoor, USA. There are people driving on the wrong side of the road, and that’s just me.
I have been driving for 20 years but today I am resitting my test after a study by What Car? magazine found that 75 per cent of experienced drivers would fail if they retook it.
As part of the study, 20 experienced drivers with a total of 416 years behind the wheel re-sat their test: 15 failed and one headed the wrong way down a one-way street.
Many failed for driving too fast, others were found signalling incorrectly or not at all. The survey also found that while nearly four in five drivers reckon standards are getting worse, only 31 per cent admit their own behind-the-wheel performance is below par.
The driving test: a licence to forget everything your instructor has drummed into you and drive like Starsky and Hutch.
Time to show the examiner what’s in the old tank. I’m supposed to be reversing around a corner but I have a feeling I might be driving Steve around the bend.
There are weak smiles and apologies, but Steve is encouraging to a fault. Most of them mine.
I quickly add to my tally of errors by pulling away without first looking over my shoulder. I note that Steve is busy with his biro, defacing my test paper.
Despite my best efforts, things are not looking good. Steve is in fact surprised to hear that 75 per cent of drivers on the road would fail their driving test if they were to retake it.
“I’d have thought it would have been more like 90 per cent,” he says. “The only people who would not fail would probably be driving instructors and driving examiners.
“But it does not mean that 90 per cent of drivers on the road - 75 per cent according to the survey - are a danger.”
The test has probably changed quite a bit since the majority of experienced drivers took theirs.
There is a whole theory test to pass and a section of the driving test now includes questions on basic vehicle safety, such a tyre pressures, water levels, and whether you know the whereabouts of a dipstick.
“I’ve had students who’ve said ‘Can’t I just show my AA card?’,” says Steve.
After 40 minutes on the open road it’s the end of my examination. “Thank you Mr Bentley, if you can just pull up wherever it is safe.”
Steve tells me that I am not a dangerous driver and but there are some areas of my driving which cause concern. In his lap is a piece of paper riddled with so many biro marks it looks like a children’s drawing of Wales on a rainy day. It’s my driving test score sheet.
My examiner goes on to list a catalogue of errors - some minor, some a bit bigger. And then the words that no aspiring motorist wants to hear.
“Overall, you’ve failed,” he announces. “You had 16 minor faults and you can only have 15, which means you have failed anyway. And then there are two serious faults.
“You scored three minor faults for speeding in the same area, often doing 33mph or 34mph in a 30mph limit, but there is a serious fault for doing 37mph at one point.
“It’s a pattern in your driving - were you aware you were doing it?”
The other serious fault? That’ll be my road positioning. Steve tells me that my lane discipline leaves something to be desired, although ‘desired’ is not a word I remember him using.
“You were turning right around a roundabout and strayed into the wrong lane without checking your mirrors, leaving your right signal on.”
Oh, and while we’re on the subject of lane discipline, let’s not forget about my two extra minor faults: one of them “driving ‘through’ a roundabout rather than round it.”
I also lose marks for driving too close to parked cars and too close behind other vehicles - just close enough for me to notice that the driver in front is on a mobile phone.
Steve reintroduces me to an old motoring motto. “Only a fool breaks the two second rule,” he says, adding that my faults are precisely the kind he would expect to find in most qualified motorists.
To my shame, then, I am technically a driver unfit to be on the road and immediately become an honourary member of What Car? magazine’s 75 Per Cent Club - clearly one of the biggest institutions in the country.
Members of this club will argue that experience counts for more than just a piece of paper and a photo ID, and that they don’t really learn how to drive until they have passed their test.
But Steve says that today it’s easier than ever to slip into bad driving habits, not to mention acts of spectacular stupidity.
“Everyone is in such a rush, everyone is under pressure to get to a place quicker and the only way they are going to get there is by going fast on the roads - like reps and people who have targets.”
As an instructor, Steve sees bad driving from qualified motorists every day of his working life and only recently had a motorist overtake him right at the spot where he was indicating to turn right.
Wasn’t me, was it?
* For more information about Steve Pearce call him on 01939 251962 or visit www.steve-pearce.co.uk
5 Comments
I have started driving lessons quite recently (has about 12 hours worth of lessons) and I have noticed many people doing the exact opposite of what I am being taught - although whilst learning I suppose this is improving my observation - especially when the lady i was behind last week signalled left and turned right!!
I hope that the story you have run makes drivers think about what they are doing!!
I think that people over a certain age should be made to retake their test anyway. Its common sense that people’s reactions slow down with age.
I agree sarah, full medical fitness tests should be compulsory every 2 years. Too many people (generally over a certain age!) see driving as a right and not a privilege.
Lane discipline is incredibly bad in this area, where if anywhere you would expect standards to be high due to the abundance of roundabouts. In reality if you are in the correct lane in Telford you risk being ‘cut-up’ by the majority that are in the incorrect lane.
The test in my opinion is too easy,a simple introduction o part of what i believe is part of the Avanced Driving Test,viz the learner whilst on test should give arunning commetary on what is going on in his head both as to what he is actually doing and what he is antipating.I speak as a driver of over 50 yrs sometimes over 1000 m per wk.Some so called experienced drivers dont do that in ayear,so when people say there should be a medical every 2 yrs the services would be swamped.Older drivers have probably rode motorbikes,in thier youth which teaches y to appreciate road conditions etc.All new drivers should be restricted to 50 mph for 2 yrs to enable them t fully understand road conditions in all weathers,with a plate on their car worn at all times.to signify this restriction. Serious flouting of the speed rule should be punished by immediate loss of licence and a retest.
Only just read this article and must say is funny to read, if a little worrying.
It is also funny that a lot of “experienced” drivers jump on the old “the test is too easy” band wagon. The joke is that the whole article is based on the fact that it is the “experienced” drivers that would fail the test!
People should really have to do some form of Check Test like, for example, Driving Instructors do. A lot can change in 5 years and I feel that it would be benefitial to all if something was implimented.
Yes it would cost but the money, in my humble opinion, would be irrelevent if it just saved a single life.
For example drink drivers are given a course after being caught so maybe everyone caught speeding should and actually see what speed causes!
We shall see.